Importance Of Self Care

self care has been a huge, trending topic for the past couple of years with a recent surge as a result of the ‘rona.  it is a topic while i am so appreciative of it’s recently popularity, should have come to the forefront ages ago.

especially for those of us who have been blessed with starseeds in our bellies.

many mothers, women, mothers to be have a hard time with self care.

definining it.

implementing it.

maintaining it.

adjusting it.

and so much more.

but it’s our very nurturing natures that requires us to nurture ourSelves. the moment we do we feel guilt, shame as if we are shirking our duties as wombyn, mothers, nurturers and healers.

as i realized that i have been divinely purposed with serving and empowering wombyn, i, too, experienced the same guilt. i felt horrible for the lack of time i was able to give to my partner and children.  i began “fixing” this by spending more time with them instead of my studies. i made them a priority, then my full time job, then my household duties, extended family obligations and then my studies. notice how there was nothing for me in there? i thought this was “helping.” that i was making everyone happy.

not everyone. not mySelf.

i found mySelf reacting and starting to behave like my five year old students who feel so much but have no way to express it so they began acting out in ways that have nothing to do with what is actually wrong. come on, don’t tell me this has never happened to you? well holding to true to my brand, i’m keeping it real and it’s happened to me…multiple times. i began having attitudes and picking little fights about the most trivial of things, crying when the most insignificant thing wouldn’t go my way, like if i went to the store and they didn’t have the right spaghetti seasonings.

i wasn’t making time to take care of me, this beautiful skin that houses me, the hair that adorns me, nor my spirit which is me and ultimately, i wasn’t doing what i was called to as a mother, as a nurturer, teaching them that no matter the situation you have to show up for yourSelf first before you can show up for anyone else. you can fill someone else’s cup, if yours is bone dry.

i decided to start doing something radical or at least radical for me. i started implementing elaborate, self care days at least once a month, turn my phone off and have the day to do whatever i wanted and needed. but each day had to start with a trip to my favorite hands in the world, wendi hardage of misaotra beauty in dallas, then a waxing and a quiet, slow paced lunch at a restaurant. i wasn’t consistent at first and my family, particularly my partner had to get used to the idea, but once i was it became my most treasured of times.

i was my better. my studies improved. i was a better partner, a better mother, a better spirit because i was nourishing my spirit, me, with what i needed to keep going.

then bam….pregnancy…the hormones…the shift…the not knowing…

because baby wasn’t planned, i was completely thrown off my rocker. i fell off my self care routine

now flash forward to my third trimester and it’s all i want, it’s what i need, i literally crave it. so much so that i’ve started using my lovely frequent bathroom breaks and as self care “moments” throughout my work day.  i have a little station with smell good lotion, perfume, hair oil, the whole nine. sometimes, I even meditate for a few minutes before coming out. whatever it is that i need.

pregnancy, growing a whole human requires you to be in tune with your body in all the ways, externally and internally. the more in tune you are, the more understanding you have with what’s happening and how to navigate it. 

nobody can nor should know your body better than you. no doctor, no midwife, just you.

how do you do that? self care.

every time you lotion, oil, butter or whatever you use, be mindful of how each curve and graze feels as you rub the product into your skin. become familiar with the terrain that is your body. with each belly oil rub, foot massage, scalp treatment you give yourself the more you know, the more you feel. taking the time to just be with meditation. just sit, let your thoughts roam without paying them attention and focus inward to your womb. i know this can be easier than done. what meditation practice isn’t. what i like to do to facilitate the process is to visualize mySelf traveling down my throat into my womb and sometimes having my hands physically placed on my womb and belly space to help me “arrive” and then i just rest in that space.

the more you practice, the more you’ll be in tune until one day, you’re so consistent, that when you’re birthing time arrives you’ll be the expert on how you’re progressing, what’s happening, if you need to transfer or need emergency assistance.

with just five weeks left until baby is in my arms, eek, i want, need to go even deeper and with ‘rona still dictating a majority of our lives, i’ve taken it a step further and begun researching how to take care of mySelf with my products i’ve made mySelf. i’m honoring what my body and my spirit are telling me i need  at every turn in this pregnancy. i pray you are doing the same. and if you’re not that after reading this you’ll start to do the same.

we are powerful.

we are vessels.

portals between the spiritual and the physical.

honor that at every chance you get, ladies.

we are literal magic.